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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.
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It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
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Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
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The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
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Once death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
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Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
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We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.
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It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
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In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his…
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
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Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
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Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.
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Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
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The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
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