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@wells871

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According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American &quot;Trail of Tears&quot; has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

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Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as &quot;acts of God.&quot;

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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

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Chuck Norris's brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.

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Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.

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Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.

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An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

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Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

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Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

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Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some…

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Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

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Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

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Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

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There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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&quot;Let the Bodies Hit the Floor&quot; was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

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Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

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Chuck Norris can win in a game of Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.

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Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

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The movie &quot;Delta Force&quot; was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

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