wayne435 (@wayne435) • Hey
wayne435 (@wayne435) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
- Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
- The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
- Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.
- Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
- Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.
- Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
- To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him.
- Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
- If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.
- TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
- How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
- The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
- Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
- Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
- Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
- Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
- Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".
- Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.