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Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.
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The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
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Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.
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Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
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Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.
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Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
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To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him.
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Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
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If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.
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TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
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How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
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Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
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Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
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The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
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Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
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Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
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Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
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Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
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The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
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Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".
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Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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