underwood573 (@underwood573) • Hey
underwood573 (@underwood573) • Hey
Publications
- Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
- The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
- Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
- The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
- Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
- If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
- Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
- Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?
- Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.
- Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
- Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
- Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
- Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.
- Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
- Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
- Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.
- Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
- A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
- The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
- That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
- With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
- Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
- Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
- For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).
- Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.