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Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off…
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Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.
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Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.
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Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his…
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
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Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
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Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
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Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
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Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
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Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
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After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do…
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Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
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In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
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Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.
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Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
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The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a…
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