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Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that…
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Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.
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Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
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Once a police officer caught Chuck Norris, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.
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There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
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Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
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Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
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In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
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4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke…
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
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Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
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Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
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Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
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