tennyson835 (@tennyson835) • Hey
tennyson835 (@tennyson835) • Hey
Publications
- No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
- Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.
- Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.
- TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
- Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.
- James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.
- The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
- Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".
- Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
- In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
- Chuck Norris can install iTunes without installing Quicktime.
- Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
- According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
- To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
- Chuck Norris plays pool with comets and astroids. He shoots them into black holes.
- After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
- Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.
- There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".