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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
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Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
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Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
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The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.
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When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume…
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Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
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Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
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Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
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Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
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On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to…
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Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
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Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
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'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
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Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
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Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
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There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
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