sumner180.lens

@sumner180

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Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

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Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

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Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

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Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

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Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.

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Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card,…

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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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Movie trivia: The movie &quot;Invasion U.S.A.&quot; is, in fact, a documentary.

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Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

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Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.

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Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

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Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke…

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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

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July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

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Chuck Norris does not &quot;style&quot; his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

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Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

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If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

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Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: &quot;Do you want fries with that?&quot;. Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.

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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

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70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

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Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

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