spear222 (@spear222) • Hey
spear222 (@spear222) • Hey
Publications
- If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
- Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
- Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
- Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris break the build, you can't fix it, because there is not a single line of code left.
- In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
- Every time someone uses the word "intense", Chuck Norris always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
- It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
- For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).
- Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
- Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
- After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"
- Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.
- For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
- When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.
- When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
- Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- 182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
- CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
- Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"