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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
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Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he?s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
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Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
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Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
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Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
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Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!
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The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
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Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
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Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island…
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?
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When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
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The class object inherits from Chuck Norris
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
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Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its…
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
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Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
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