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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris is the ultimate mutex, all threads fear him.
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
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It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
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In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
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Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
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Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
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182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
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One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to…
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Chuck Norris doesn't have pubic hairs because hair doesn't grow on balls of steal.
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Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.
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The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
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Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to…
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Chuck Norris's beard can type 140 wpm.
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Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
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Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
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