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Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
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Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
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There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard has the Any key.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of…
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Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.
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Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
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Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
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Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
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Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.
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Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers COMMAND line.
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A diff between your code and Chuck Norris's is infinite.
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Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
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Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.
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Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into…
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Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
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Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.
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Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
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Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
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