sawyer488 (@sawyer488) • Hey
sawyer488 (@sawyer488) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.
- After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
- Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
- Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
- Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
- Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
- Chuck Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).
- Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
- Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.
- Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
- Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
- When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
- It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
- Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
- "Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
- There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
- Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
- Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
- Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
- Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.