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@rogerson281

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A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the…
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb…
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Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
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When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries…
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Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris's beard can type 140 wpm.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
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Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he?s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
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Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
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In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
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Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.
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Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
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The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
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Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
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Chuck Norris understands every definition in the Oxford Thesaurus, except one - "mercy".
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Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.
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Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
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Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".
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In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
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Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
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