pierce229 (@pierce229) • Hey
pierce229 (@pierce229) • Hey
Publications
- If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
- The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
- Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers COMMAND line.
- Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
- When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
- Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
- Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.
- In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
- Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.
- Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.
- "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
- Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
- Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
- President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time.
- Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
- Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
- Chuck Norris's keyboard has the Any key.
- If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
- The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.