patton864 (@patton864) • Hey
patton864 (@patton864) • Hey
Publications
- Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
- Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.
- Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
- When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
- Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
- The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
- The term "Cleveland Steamer" got its name from Chuck Norris, when he took a dump while visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of fame and buried northern Ohio under a glacier of fecal matter.
- Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
- Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
- Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
- All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
- Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
- When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris once shat blood - the blood of 11,940 natives he had killed and eaten.
- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
- Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
- Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
- Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.
- Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
- MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
- Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.