ogden979 (@ogden979) • Hey
ogden979 (@ogden979) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this glitch, Norris replied "That's no glitch."
- If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
- An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
- Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
- An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
- Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations... ever.
- Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
- Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
- Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
- The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.
- Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.
- Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
- Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
- Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he?s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
- Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
- Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
- The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
- Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
- Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.