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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
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Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the…
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When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
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That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
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Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
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Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
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Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
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It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
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The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.
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They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
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TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
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How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
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