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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.
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The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.
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When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?".
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Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
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Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
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Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about…
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Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
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There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.
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Chuck Norris? sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
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After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
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Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder because his roundhouse kicks are recognized as "acts of God."
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
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Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
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Chuck Norris solved the halting problem.
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