lincoln669 (@lincoln669) • Hey
lincoln669 (@lincoln669) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
- Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
- Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
- Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.
- Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
- When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
- Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
- Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
- When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
- Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
- There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris's first program was kill -9.
- Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
- When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
- Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
- Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
- Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
- Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
- Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
- In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
- In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
- Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris's test cases cover your code too.