kelsey614 (@kelsey614) • Hey
kelsey614 (@kelsey614) • Hey
Publications
- If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
- Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
- Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
- There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
- Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!
- The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
- Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
- Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
- Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
- While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
- The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
- The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
- Chuck Norris's OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
- MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.