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Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.
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Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".
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Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
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Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
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Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
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Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
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The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the…
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MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).
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Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
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Chuck Norris's OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
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Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its…
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Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
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Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
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Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
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Chuck Norris does not need a watch, he decides what time it is.
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When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
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Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
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If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
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Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
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Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris…
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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