jinks500 (@jinks500) • Hey
jinks500 (@jinks500) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
- Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
- Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
- They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
- Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers COMMAND line.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
- They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
- To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
- In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
- Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
- The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
- Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
- Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
- In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
- Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
- If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
- Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.