@jeffries608's avatar

jeffries608.lens

@jeffries608

26 Posts
0 Replies
0 Following
12 Followers
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than…
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@jeffries608's avatar
jeffries608.lens
@jeffries608
Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
0 Comments
1 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors