hurst862 (@hurst862) • Hey
hurst862 (@hurst862) • Hey
Publications
- The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.
- In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.
- Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.
- Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
- Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
- The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
- Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
- Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.
- Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
- Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
- Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
- Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
- Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
- When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
- For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
- If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
- Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
- Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
- Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
- If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.
- Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
- Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.
- Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
- Chuck Norris's beard can type 140 wpm.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
- Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
- Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
- They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
- # Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.
- The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
- Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.