@howard858's avatar

howard858.lens

@howard858

27 Posts
0 Replies
0 Following
10 Followers
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
0 Comments
1 Likes
1 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris? favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van…
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that…
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
0 Comments
1 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@howard858's avatar
howard858.lens
@howard858
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors