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Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
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Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
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4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
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Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
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How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
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After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
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According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
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The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
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The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst…
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When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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There?s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay…
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4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
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Chuck Norris can make a class that is both abstract and final.
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Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
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Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
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Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.
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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
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Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
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