gladwin179 (@gladwin179) • Hey
gladwin179 (@gladwin179) • Hey
Publications
- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
- Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.
- According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
- Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
- All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
- When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
- Chuck Norris? sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
- Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
- When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it's been raped.
- Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
- Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.
- The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
- Chuck Norris invented the internet? just so he had a place to store his porn.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.
- Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.
- When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
- How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
- Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
- Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
- Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.