gladwin177 (@gladwin177) • Hey
gladwin177 (@gladwin177) • Hey
Publications
- A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
- How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- Chuck Norris doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him.
- They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
- Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.
- Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
- Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
- Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class.
- Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
- Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
- Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.
- When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
- After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
- Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
- Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
- Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
- Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
- Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
- The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
- Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.