@garland980's avatar

garland980.lens

@garland980

26 Posts
0 Replies
0 Following
14 Followers
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off…
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his…
1 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris invented the internet? just so he had a place to store his porn.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris's brain waves are suspected to be harmful to cell phones.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris uses canvas in IE.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his faucet, he stares at it until it cries.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@garland980's avatar
garland980.lens
@garland980
July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.
0 Comments
1 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors