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@freeman746

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Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".
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Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
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Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
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If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the…
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
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The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.
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Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
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Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
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Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
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On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to…
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Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
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