edison538 (@edison538) • Hey
edison538 (@edison538) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
- Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
- Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
- Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
- With Chuck Norris P = NP. There's no nondeterminism with Chuck Norris decisions.
- When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
- Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
- When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
- Chuck Norris can remember the future.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.
- Chuck Norris can make onions cry.
- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
- Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
- Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.
- As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.
- If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
- Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
- There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
- Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.