denman119 (@denman119) • Hey
denman119 (@denman119) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
- Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
- The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
- Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).
- Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.
- Chuck Norris can access private methods.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
- In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
- MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
- MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).
- It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
- The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
- To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.
- In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
- Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
- If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
- Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
- Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
- Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
- Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.