denman119.lens

@denman119

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Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.

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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to…

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Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

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For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).

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Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.

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Chuck Norris can access private methods.

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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

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MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.

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MySpace actually isn't your space, it's Chuck's (he just lets you use it).

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It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

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The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

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To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

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In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.

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If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

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Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever…

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Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb…

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Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.

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Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

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