crawford341 (@crawford341) • Hey
crawford341 (@crawford341) • Hey
Publications
- CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
- Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
- Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.
- They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
- All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.
- Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
- Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.
- Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
- Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
- The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
- Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
- Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.
- Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
- Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
- Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
- Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
- Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
- Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
- Chuck Norris can binary search unsorted data.
- Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.