cox342 (@cox342) • Hey
cox342 (@cox342) • Hey
Publications
- Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
- There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
- Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
- Each hair in Chuck Norris's beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.
- Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.
- Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
- Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.
- The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
- The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
- A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
- Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.
- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
- Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
- Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
- Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
- Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
- Chuck Norris can access private methods.
- Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
- Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
- If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
- Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
- Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.