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Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
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There is no April 1st in Chuck Norris' calendar, because no one can fool him.
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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
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It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
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Each hair in Chuck Norris's beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.
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Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.
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Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
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Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
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Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.
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The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
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The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
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A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
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Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of…
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
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Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
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Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
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If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.
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Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
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Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.
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