clay313 (@clay313) • Hey
clay313 (@clay313) • Hey
Publications
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.
- Chuck Norris's OSI network model has only one layer - Physical.
- CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
- In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
- Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
- When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
- TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
- If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
- Chuck Norris? favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
- Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
- Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
- It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
- Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
- Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.
- In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
- Chuck Norris does not code in cycles, he codes in strikes.
- Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
- Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris can remember the future.
- Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
- Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.