church338 (@church338) • Hey
church338 (@church338) • Hey
Publications
- Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.
- "Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
- Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
- Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
- Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
- Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
- Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
- Every SQL statement that Chuck Norris codes has an implicit "COMMIT" in its end.
- Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
- Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.
- Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
- Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
- For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.
- Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
- When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
- Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
- Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
- Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
- Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
- Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.