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Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.
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"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever…
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Chuck Norris can make fire using two ice cubes.
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Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
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Chuck Norris compresses his files by doing a flying round house kick to the hard drive.
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Every SQL statement that Chuck Norris codes has an implicit "COMMIT" in its end.
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Chuck Norris can write to an output stream.
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Chuck Norris hosting is 101% uptime guaranteed.
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Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
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On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to…
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Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle.
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Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
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Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
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Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.
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Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
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Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
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Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
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