bentley814 (@bentley814) • Hey
bentley814 (@bentley814) • Hey
Publications
- The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
- Chuck Norris can taste lies.
- Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Chuck Norris' shooting practice.
- Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
- According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
- Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
- Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
- The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
- Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
- When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- Chuck Norris can watch the radio.
- Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
- It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
- Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
- When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
- Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
- Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.
- TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
- Chuck Norris can overflow your stack just by looking at it.
- When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.