@bates413's avatar

bates413.lens

@bates413

26 Posts
0 Replies
0 Following
12 Followers
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris"
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to…
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying…
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris can compile syntax errors.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Every SQL statement that Chuck Norris codes has an implicit "COMMIT" in its end.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
Chuck Norris doesn't need a keyboard he tells the computer to write something and it does.
0 Comments
0 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors
@bates413's avatar
bates413.lens
@bates413
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island…
0 Comments
1 Likes
0 Collects
0 Mirrors