bagley933.lens

@bagley933

26 Posts

0 Replies

0 Following

11 Followers

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off…

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris can remember the future.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

0 Comments

0 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

0 Comments

1 Likes

0 Collects

0 Mirrors