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In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".
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Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
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When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
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In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
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Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
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Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
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When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
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Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.
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It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
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Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
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Chuck Norris already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.
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Divide Chuck Norris by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
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If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
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Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb…
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Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
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The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
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When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it's across the room.
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Each hair in Chuck Norris's beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.
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